Entitled mom forbids older sister from babysitting because she's 'too attached', gets offended when she won't step up after babysitter cancels: 'I didn’t feel comfortable watching a child when the parent doesn’t trust me'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Oct 28, 2025 9:00 PM EDT

The hardest thing about parenting isn't always the kid.

In fact, something that comes as a surprise when many people become parents for the first time is how much potential drama can come from friends and relatives and their involvement in the life of the baby. It is not uncommon for them to massively overstep, causing a nuisance or giving unnecessary guidance that only makes things more difficult. It is important for moms and dads to be vigilant when it comes to setting boundaries around the child, even when it is with loved ones.

At the same time, it can be common for parents to get overprotective and overthink how involved they want their extended family to be when they have a baby. Every so often, pushing people away can prove to be a mistake instead of a prudent decision, as it gets rid of the longed-for 'village' that helps with child-rearing.

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  • a young blond woman holds and speaks to a baby
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • One new mom felt like enough was enough when it came to her older sister and her relationship with her daughter, after she felt she was becoming overbearing and attempting to ‘play mom’. The final straw came when the aunt posted a photo on social media with her niece and captioned it “my favorite little human,” with her prior permission.

    The sister immediately stopped helping out with the baby and was upset to be told that her efforts to help were no longer appreciated. It meant that when the mom asked her to fill in for a babysitter cancelling at the last minute, she refused. The mom got angry, and the aunt was left wondering if she had gone too far.

  • I (30F) have a younger sister (27F) who became a mom last year. I've always loved kids and was honestly excited to be an aunt. When her daughter was born, I helped a lot, bringing meals, doing laundry, babysitting so she could nap.
    via Sea_Software_3134
  • At first, she was super grateful. But over time, she started acting weird, snappy, distant, and sometimes passive-aggressive. I brushed it off as postpartum stress. Then last week, she called me out of the blue and said she didn't trust me with her baby anymore because I was "too attached."
    via Sea_Software_3134
  • a young blond woman takes a selfie with a baby on her lap while sat on a couch
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Apparently, when I posted a photo of my niece (with her permission, months ago!) and captioned it "my favorite little human," she took it as me trying to "play mom.” She said I was "crossing emotional boundaries" and that I "always need to be the savior."
    via Sea_Software_3134
  • I told her that hurt to hear, especially since I only helped when she asked. She said she's tired of me "taking over" and that if I really cared, I'd "back off and let her figure it out as a mom."
    via Sea_Software_3134
  • So now she's asking me to babysit again, because her sitter canceled last minute. I said no. I told her I didn't feel comfortable watching a child when the parent doesn't trust me. Now she's furious, saying I'm punishing her and abandoning her when she needs help. AITA for refusing to babysit after she accused me of trying to replace her?
    via Sea_Software_3134
  • a young blond woman helps a baby to stand in the middle of a living room
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • People felt it was the mom who was in the wrong.

    anomic_balm Nope, you're good
    via anomic_balm
  • Iheartchocolate37 NTA. She may be going through something or perhaps someone got in her ear. Regardless, you're NTA. She needs to reassess what she wants and be clear. The fact that she states she didn't trust you is powerful and cannot be ignored, especially when her sitter cancels.
    via Iheartchocolate37
  • daysalou ΝΤΑ She can't have it both ways. Tell her to pick a lane that you love them both but you're not up for being used This is you backing off and letting her figure it out as a mom. Now.... if she wants to apologize.... well then
    via daysalou
  • Connect-Thought2029 Tell her you are letting her figure it out as a mum. NTA and I wouldn't help her anymore . At least not in the foreseeable future
    via Connect-Thought2029
  • Swamp Witch72 Not your fault she can't unring a bell.
    via Swamp_Witch72
  • Disastrous_Hyena_123 That's what happens when you bite the hand which feeds you. I wonder if someone said something to her and it came at a time when she was feeling low/ vulnerable/ guilty? Could just have been a passing comment and she took it to heart. A conversation between could clear the air, it's up to you whether you want to do this but I would definitely take a step back.
    via Disastrous_Hyena_123
  • MysteryLady221 If the sitter hadn't canceled, OP's sister wouldn't have called. As soon as she finds another sitter, or if the sitter returns, OP will be pushed out again. It's best to let sister figure it out as a new mom, just like she asked. ΝΤΑ
    via MysteryLady221
  • OwlUnique8712 NTA - She doesn't get to benefit from your help, love, and care, and then she gets nasty and accuses you of taking over and hurting you. Now she wants your help. She doesn't get to manipulate you going forward and use you when convenient. Stick to your guns until you get an honest apology and make it clear she doesn't get to use you when it's convenient.
    via OwlUnique8712
  • maggietaz62 NTA, as your sister said, she needs to figure it out as a mother.
    via maggietaz62
  • jjj68548 I'd step back altogether. Let her figure it out on her own. Just be the aunt who visits once or twice a month for a few hours. That is for visiting, not helping out around the house.
    via jjj68548
  • Denondehamster I love karma
    via Denondehamster
  • Robyn_withaY She set a boundary, you are respecting her boundary. She doesn't get to have it both ways. NTA
    via Robyn_withaY
  • No_Acanthisitta953 NTA 'I don't trust you to look after my baby, oh wait, it's an emergency, can you look after the baby'. Nope.
    via No_Acanthisitta953
  • Rowan-The-Writer NTA. Tell her she shouldn't have bit the hand that feeds her. Well in this case, the hand that gives you free childcare. She FAFO'D.
    via Rowan-The-Writer

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